I believe it is important to have something on one’s horizon, toward which he can direct himself and his actions. I myself am in the midst of a crisis of values, or something of that sort, and I have suffered some serious setbacks with respect to my goals. Specifically, I don’t really have any right now.
And this in part is why I write the blog now. Something such as this gives one a task, something to accomplish everyday, little by little. I think accomplishing small tasks is underrated, since it is by doing so that one acquires the fortitude to bear through more difficult tasks. I remember one of the analects on Master K’ung reads something like this: he would not sit on his mat until it was straight. I don’t have the translation in which I read that anymore. Anyway, I like that idea a great deal and it has stuck with me. One must take care of the simple task of straightening the mat before one moves onto the more serious and important activity, which involves sitting and participating in ceremony.
So, as I am somewhat in transition right now, realigning my life, I suppose I should set some subordinate goals. I wrote up a list the other day of things I want to do that serve no particular end, and seem not to fit into some universal teleology in any obvious way. Here is that list:
1. Learn to speak a language other than my native English.
2. Get in shape / discipline my body.
3. Learn to play jazz piano.
4. Write on your blog site everyday.
5. Master reading Greek and Latin.
6. Learn to read Hebrew a little.
So reads my list. Some of these seem more daunting to me than others. Greek and Latin should be manageable, since I have been working at them for some years now. I realize now that having written “master” there was probably foolish, since mastery is only acquired over decades, not months or years. Learning to read Hebrew a little should not be too difficult, except that I have not done anything with Semitic languages before. Learning to speak a language, I should probably go to German, since it is my favorite and I have the most experience with it. Spanish would be more practical, but this list is not about practicality in that sense.
With the blog site, it is now day two, and I am doing fine so far.
Jazz piano is somewhat more tricky. I will have to take lessons, I think, since I have never been able to teach myself this art. I am a moderately skilled classical pianist, having played since I was 7 (so around 17 years now); I can play pretty much anything by Chopin (save some of the more technical etudes), but little Liszt. Not a virtuoso, but capable nevertheless. I also know pretty much all the essentials of the “theory” of jazz, but that amounts to very little if one cannot execute that theory in practice.
Getting in shape will be the worst. I have not been fond of exercise for a very long time now. I once played a lot of basketball (high school, not on the team though), but have not found it all that compelling since I was probably a sophomore in college (some 6 years ago now). I put the slash in there because I have become kind of a pig with my diet too. I was a vegetarian for two years in undergraduate, and now I will eat pretty much anything without giving it too much thought. I remember when I gave up vegetarian eating, I did so because I thought that, going into academia, I would have to follow the academic’s dietary discipline. I thought that being in academia involved at least in some sense a neglect of the body. I now see this was a very short-sighted view and it says something about what I really understood back then, but the important point is that the view is wrong-headed. I don’t know how best to approach this problem, but I know I need to get back to exercising and back to eating right (which at this point means little more than thinking actively about what I eat).
So that about sums it up. I hope these short term goals will amount to something, and help me find some direction. I guess the months ahead will decide.
